10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight


1. Because George Bush is stupid.

2. Because you’re feeling fat and you want to lose some weight.

3. Because it’s better than NOT having sex.

4. Because you need to get rid of the cobwebs in between your legs. It’s been too long and too little. Time to get down on your knees and bend over.

5. Because I say so.

6. Because it’s the perfect opportunity to get him to say I Love You without putting a gun to his head. Most effective in between the time you are switching to a doggy position and throwing back your hair then looking back at him with a most innocent face.

7. Because there’s a hole in the ozone layer.

8. Because the real thing is better than the porn stash you have in the pr0n folder in your computer.

9. Because sex makes you feel smart and popular and handsome and pretty and beautiful and sexy and all that jazz. This does not apply if you’re ugly in the first place. You will always remain ugly whether or not you have sex.

10. Because I’m goddamn horny. Despite the hemorrhage I’m currently suffering from. This reason has nothing to do with you having sex or whatsoever. Just ME having sex.

About this entry

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Published:
11.15.06 / 8pm
Category:
Bullshits, Sexually Explicit