My Eyes Closed

Few dreams that I’ve had over the past week…

It is a pool of water. Clear, blue water. I am underwater. Everyone else is underwater too. We can’t submerge. We look like cocoons of butterflies in the vast blue. Our legs to our chest, our bodies curved like a ball, just swaying lazily beneath the water.

I had this dream after a baptism misunderstanding in my church. Earlier this week I took a baptism class and after class, I decided I still wasn’t ready for baptism yet. But later in church that Sunday, they called up my name for baptism. I declined.

I was embarrassed. I am the girl who isn’t ready for Jesus.

Worried too, whether something is wrong with me because it is taking me so long to decide on my baptism.

I know I am very much a sinner and am not ready, not so much as to repent but to give up what is common for me at this moment that is not the way of life in the Bible. In my own thoughts, I want to be ready for baptism when I am truly ready to be clean.

I felt as if the dream says to me that we are all still sinning and we should never have submerge.

Some friends and I are at a football field covering an event. I am the director. one of my crew refuses to listen to my directions. I stab her in the chest and I scream at her that she is a bad friend. The Boyfriend looks on from behind. He keeps my secret.

She is one of my best friends in real life. This dream scares me. I will never hurt her in any way.

I am lying on cold, white tiles. Bathroom tiles. Naked. Bleeding. The Boyfriend is standing over me. I look down at my chest and it is ripped wide open. Blood is pouring out. I look up at him and I now see a beating heart on his hand. He puts it into his mouth and stomps on my chest.

I fell asleep in the shower just now and had this dream. I woke up crying. I didn’t know what to make of it.

I am so morbid I scare myself. One day I am scared to wake up and find my dreams realities.

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You’re currently reading “My Eyes Closed,” an entry on The Geek In Pink

Published:
8.14.07 / 12am
Category:
Sob